


Sunsets and Silhouette Dreams

by barrys_nygma



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Depression, Gen, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-11-03 06:52:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10961994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barrys_nygma/pseuds/barrys_nygma
Summary: A story of a boy in space realizing he's not alone.Also a story of another boy realizing he's not at fault and just some things he can't help people with.





	Sunsets and Silhouette Dreams

It all started before he went to Garrison. He’s heard of all the stories of kids graduating from one school and transferring to another and being happy about it. He was hoping, no, praying that would be the same for him, but that wasn’t the case for Lance.

He was going to miss his parents. He was going to miss his little brothers and sisters. He was going to miss the ocean and the sand. He was going to miss going to the beach early in the morning before anyone else so he can surf the waves peacefully without anyone bothering him before school.

He wasn’t really going to miss many friends since he didn’t really have many to begin with. He was always the outcast of his school because he was either ‘too loud’ or ‘getting on all of the girls nerves’.

‘Hijo’ He heard over the wind from the ocean.

‘Hey mamá’ He replied getting up from his spot in the sand.

‘Are you all packed up?’ His mother asked gently.

‘Yeah. Ma, I don’t want to leave you and Papá alone here with the four hooligans by yourself.’ He said looking down to her.

‘Are you sure that's the only reason Hijo?’ She asked looking back up at him.

He could feel his eyes start to sting with tears.

‘Lance. This is your dream to be a pilot. You’ve wanted this for years. Don’t let your old parents hold you back.’ She told him while she put her hands on his arms.

‘It’s not that Ma. You know how hard it is for me to make friends. What if everyone hates me there and I have no one to run too if it gets bad again.’ He replied closing his eyes.

‘I’m sure you’ll make amazing friends at the Garrison. Just think about it. They’re all there to learn the same stuff you are. They all want to be pilots just like you. Before you know it me and your Papá are going to see your smiling face on the TV because you found a wonderful discovery in space.’ She replied smiling back up at him again.

‘Thanks Ma!’ He cries hugging her close to him.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Little did they know they would see his face on the screen sooner than expected and under different circumstances.

‘Today we have learned there have been three students from the Garrison who have gone missing. Lance McClain, Pidge Gunderson, and Hunk Garret. We will keep you all updated on further details once we get more information.’

Lance’s mother didn’t go to sleep that night, or the nights after that.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

‘Damnit Lance will you act serious for one damn second!’ Keith yelled through the coms so everyone else could hear.

‘Keith! Your screaming isn’t helping.’ Shiro responded while he was taking down some Galra ships in his lion.

They have all been space for a while now. It’s been so long no one knew how long they have been up there. Lance has started to forget the way the ocean looked and smelled like. He was beginning to forget the way his mother’s cooking tasted like.

‘Hey Keith how about you mind your own fucking business!’ Lance screamed back.

‘Why don’t you act serious for once and not be an idiot jeez! You get on my nerves so bad sometimes I swear!’ Keith screamed back.

‘Okay guys calm down please.’ Hunk told them both before it got any worse.

Hunk knew how Lance got sometimes. Especially when he went without his medication for a long time.

Lance huffed and shot at the remaining ships so they could go back to the castle to wormhole away.

Once they got back into the ship and they were all in the control room in their normal clothes Keith went straight over to Lance.

‘What the hell were you doing out there?’ He asked putting a finger to his chest.

‘I was trying to cover your ass before you got shot down!’ Lance replied smacking his hand away.

‘I didn’t need cover! I was perfectly fine. You almost got yourself killed!’ Keith said crossing his arms.

‘Well too bad I didn’t huh? I wouldn’t get on your nerves anymore now would I?’ Lance screamed back his eyes stinging.

‘Alright let’s go get some dinner yeah?’ Hunk said trying to ease the tension in the room.

‘Lance are you okay?’ Keith asked taken aback by his previous comment.

‘I’m fucking fantastic.’ Lance spit back pushing Keith aside so he could get pass.

‘Hey Lance do you want to go to the viewing tower for a little bit? Hunk you wanna join us?’ Pidge suggested.

‘No I don’t. I would like to go to my room to sleep thanks.’ He said walking out of the room.

Lance walked all the way to his room holding back so many emotions running through his sick head at one time. He hated feeling this way. He hated the fact that he had no one to go to for this stuff. He didn’t have his mom like he always did back at the Garrison. She was always a phone call away. Now, she’s thousands of light-years away.

He needed to hurry up before anyone saw him break down. He starts running to his room with his jacket flying behind him. He could feel tears forming in the corners on his eyes already.

He felt so fucking useless in this shithole called space. He just wanted his family back. He wanted the ocean back. He wanted his mom's hugs and her garlic knots. He just wanted home and he definitely didn’t have it here in this castle-ship thing.

When he finally got to his room he opened the door and immediately closed it back once he was inside and locked the doors and fell to the ground and curled in on himself.

Why did he have to find that blue lion? Why did he have fly into that first wormhole? Why was he even still here?

‘Lance please open the door!’ He could hear Hunk yell over his sobbing.

‘Go away!’ He screamed back throwing his bayard against the door making it go off and shoot against the wall.

‘Lance? Lance!’ Hunk screamed.

‘I’m fine now please go away so I can get over this please!’ Lance screamed back again.

‘I’m not leaving until you open the damn door.’ Hunk protested.

‘Stand back guys.’ Lance could hear Shiro behind Hunk.

‘Guys please!’ Lance screamed desperately at top of his lungs.

Lance buried his head in his arms and screamed and sobbed telling them to leave over and over again.

Once the others got the doors open Hunk rushed in and tried to pick Lance up.

‘Don’t touch me! Do not touch me!’ Lance screamed over and over.

‘Okay we need to do something. Turn off the lights and everyone needs to leave right now.’ Hunk said calmly. 

Everyone except Keith left. Keith was staring in surprise. He’s never experienced someone going through that.

‘Keith leave. Please he doesn’t need people around him right now.’ Hunk said getting Lance and putting him on the bed.

‘I’m sorry I didn’t mea-’

‘Leave!’ Lance screamed at him.

Keith jumped at how loud he screamed and froze for a second and ran out of the room. He ran into Shiro in the process.

‘I hate to say this but if he doesn't calm down soon we’re gonna have to put him into a cryopod.’ Shiro sad with Coran and Allura by his side.

‘What’s happening to him?’ Keith asked with wide eyes.

‘He’s having an anxiety attack.’ Pidge replied sitting on the ground with their legs pulled to their chest.

‘Was it my fault I didn’t mean to do that to him. I just didn’t want him to get himself killed.’ Keith said looking at Lance’s door. He could still hear Hunk trying to calm him down.

‘That is not your fault Keith. He gets this way when he doesn't have his medication. He left it back on earth, plus we don’t have a pharmacy here in space so there isn’t a point.’ Pidge told Keith looking up at him.

‘I wish he would have said something sooner. We have different medications we can try.’ Allura said also staring at Lance’s door.

They all stood there for a while until Hunk finally walked out with red eyes and a tear soaked shirt.

'He's asleep now. Shiro I'm concerned for him. He said some scary stuff in there. Asking if he was good for the team or if he belonged here or what if he wasn't here would we have defeated Zarkon sooner. We need to do something for him.' Hunk said getting emotional again.

'I'll talk to him tomorrow. Right now I think we all need to rest. That was a long mission and we've been up for a while waiting and making sure Lance was okay.' Shiro said putting his hand on Hunk's shoulder.

'But someone should stay in this area just to make sure Lance doesn't freak out again. Anxiety attacks can sometimes come back and Lance's are pretty bad.' Hunk said yawning.

'I'll stay. I'm the reason for this anyway.' Keith said looking at his hands.

'Are you sure?' Hunk asked.

'Yeah. But I have no idea what to do if it happens again.' Keith replied.

'Oh that's easy. Just go in there and make sure all the lights are off. Let him put his jacket on and pull the hood over his head. Talk to him for a while telling him he's safe and that nothing is going to hurt him. Once he's done hyperventilating pretty much just hold onto him and let him cry himself to sleep.' Hunk said like he's done this a million times.

'Does he have these all the time?' Keith asked looking at Lance's door.

'He hasn't had one since the Garrison when Iverson wouldn't let him refill his depression medication. He has the worst depression I've ever seen plus anxiety. It's killer.' Hunk said looking at his hands.

'Fucking Iverson. Okay yeah I'll watch after him.' Keith said heading to his room down the hall to get some blankets and a pillow.

'Keith. You're going to hear a lot of personal things from him if he does have another attack. Just don't hold them against him. He might even call you horrible things. Just remember how Lance usually is.' Hunk said breathing in deeply.

'Okay. Thanks for the heads up.' Keith nodded and patted Hunk on the back who smiled back.

Once Keith got back to Lance's door he let the door open just a crack so if Lance started getting rowdy he could hear himself and make sure he was okay.

He spread out the blankets and set the pillow right by the crack in the door and made sure his ear was to the door.

Keith didn't remember falling asleep that night. All he remembered was himself staring at Lance's door hoping he wouldn't hear a hurting human being on the other side again.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Keith woke up to someone stirring around in the room next to him. They were whispering to themselves to stop freaking out.

'Lance?' Keith said quietly.

He heard a gasp and someone run over and try to shut the door.

'Oh no you don't. Lance don't do this.' Keith said putting his leg in the way of the door.

'Please don't touch me.' Lance said crumbling to the ground putting the hood of his jacket over his head in the process.

'I won't unless you want me to.' Keith replied sitting on the ground next to him.

'I don't want to be here anymore. I don't want to be in space anymore. I want to be home. I want to see my mom and feel her hugs and eat her food and just have her hold me.' Lance sobbed into his arms.

'I need my medication. I need it.' He kept repeating rocking from side to side.

'I know you do. Allura said she might have an altean alternative we could try for you if you have the strength to get up in the morning.' Keith relied softly.

Keith could hear Lance start to calm down a little bit but he was still crying into his arms.

'Do you want me to hug you now or do you still need space?' Keith asked opening his arms a little bit.

Lance didn't have wait for him to open his arms anymore because he immediately jumped into his lap and buried his head in Keith shoulder in his hair and cried even harder.

'I wish there was a way we could help you feel better.' Keith said rubbing Lance's back.

Lance started chuckling while he was still crying.

'Keith. There is nothing anyone can do to this sick mind of mine to make me any better. People have tried. Hunk learned just to be there for me when I get really down.' Lance said still in Keith shoulder.

'When I first got in the medicine when I was like 14. I had an episode at school that was so bad my mom had to come pick me up early and when she picked me up they also told I wasn't eating all that much either. Can you imagine? Depression, anxiety, and an eat disorder? Yeah it sucked. Well my mom asked why I never told her anything and I responded with I just didn't want her to worry about me. She made a hard turn around on the road and took me straight to the hospital where they kept me in the crazy ward all night to make sure I wasn't going to hurt myself.' Lance said still clinging to Keith.

'I'm sorry you're going through this again. And I'm sorry I yelled at you and said you got on my nerves.' Keith replied softly while brushing his fingers through Lances short hair.

'It's okay. You didn't know. I try to hide my weaknesses well. Guess now everyone knows now.' Lance said half laughing.

'You shouldn't have to hide around us.' Keith told him.

'Well Hunk and Pidge already knew because they were there when Iverson wouldn't let me get my medication at the Garrison. Now you, Shiro, Allura, and Coran all know now so I guess you're right now.' Lance said backing away from Keith.

'We'll try and help you as much as we can now okay? How about you go back to sleep okay? I'll be right outside that door when you wake up.' Keith said picking Lance up to place him in the bed.

'Can you come sleep in here please? It'll help me feel better knowing someone was in here with me.' Lance responded already half asleep once his head hit the pillow.

'Of course just go to sleep okay?' Keith said putting the blankets back over Lance again.

Sure enough once Keith came back inside the room Lance was already sound asleep snoring away.

Keith made his bed up and instantly fell asleep happily knowing Lance would be okay for the remainder of the night.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is very personal to me. I just wanted people to know that depression isn't going to magically disappear because someone comes into your life to 'Fix' you. I also wanted people to know that other people have emotional triggers and if you don't know what those triggers are and you accidentally set someone off it is NOT your fault. Some things like depression and anxiety can NOT be helped, and if you have any mental illnesses it is not your fault that you have them.
> 
> Anyway I hope you liked the fic! I was joy to write!


End file.
